Staying Positive…. Just like my Pregnancy Test.
Yep. You read that correctly. I said positive and pregnancy test in the same sentence.
I’ll give you a minute to pick your jaw up from off of the floor.
To be honest that was my first reaction when I found out as well. So I’ll give you a minute to gather your thoughts and I’ll be right here when you’re ready!
Ready?….. okay good.
So now that the initial shock has worn off a little I want to let you know how excited I am to announce that I am expecting my first little bundle of joy on April 19th!
Here’s a video of my official announcement!!
Now I’m sure you have some questions since well you know…. I’m single. So I created at FAQ page to aleve your curiosity.
“Aren’t you single?”
“So who’s the father?”
He’s a friend of mine! And since this is my blog and not his I’ll keep his life private, but don’t worry….he’s tall and cute. I hope the baby gets his jawline and dimples and my eyes and nose!
Also…… It’s not any of my gay friends…..Oh and I’ll save you some time and tell you that you won’t find any Facebook photos of us together so you can try to search, but you’ll be sadly disappointed.
“Didn’t you think to use protection??”
Yep, and sometimes when plan A doesn’t work you resort to plan B, and when that doesn’t work you end up pregnant. It happens. I’m proof!
“How did your family react??”
This is actually my favorite part because I have never in my life felt so much love and support. Like I wish you could have all been in that huge family hug we had as we cried and prayed together. I can still hear my dad saying over and over how proud he was of me. It was exactly what I needed to hear when I was in one of my darkest places.
“Your dad said he was PROUD?”
Yes. He did. Now let me explain because that might confuse some of you! When my dad said he was proud of me I knew he didn’t mean he was proud of my past decisions. He never wanted me to be in the situation that I’m in, no one wanted me to be in this situation…including myself!
BUT, he is proud of me in this moment and the decision I made to keep the baby. This wasn’t the way we dreamed my life would be, but instead of looking back and regretting the past we look forward and celebrate the future. Because the future is exciting!!!
“Why didn’t you have an abortion?”
I’m sorry if this question offends some of you, but I know some of my friends and readers might be wondering why I didn’t just have an abortion.
It would have been much easier, less public, and less life altering if I would have swept this pregnancy under the rug, terminated it, and then dealt with the depression from it with therapy like everyone else. I wouldn’t have to deal with people looking at my ring finger when they hear I’m pregnant. Or deal with the embarrassment that comes along with an unplanned pregnancy, or deal with the difficulties surrounding a pregnancy out of marriage.
I’ll be honest. I thought about what it would look like if I did terminate the pregnancy. I thought about what life would be like if I didn’t choose to raise a baby as a single mom.
Life sounded a lot easier with an abortion, but it also sounded like the worst idea in the world. I couldn’t go through with that. There is life inside of me that beat ALL odds to get there….I couldn’t take away a life.
Yes, life will be harder now and I will have struggles that honestly scare me to death. I will go through things emotionally that might make me cry every single night and every single morning for the next 18.5 years. I’m not naive to that.
Life will also be so much more joyful with this baby in the world. My life will be so full of awe and amazement because of this baby! I honestly believe this life was brought to me with purpose and I could never discard such a gift.
I know my decision might not make sense to some of you, and to others it makes complete sense. And I’m not here to judge you for thinking one way or another, but I know for me. My choice was easy.
“Soooo You’re going to raise this baby alone??”
The baby’s father and I are still working through all of this stuff, but we both know we are surrounded by a huge support group that wants whats best for us individually and whats best for Mini.
As you can see from my video I have tons of family and friends that are excited and ready to help me and “Mini” (that’s what I’m calling the baby).
So even though I’m alone….. I’m not really alone.
“When are you due?”
“Do you want a boy or girl?”
Honestly I don’t care either way, both sound fun and challenging at the same time! However, I feel like it’s a boy! Don’t worry though the suspense will be over soon and science will provide answers!! I find out the gender within two weeks.
“How have you been feeling?”
The first 12 weeks were hell. If I wasn’t sick, I was so exhausted that I literally fell asleep anywhere. One time I fell asleep at my desk at work. face down. on the keyboard. It’s a good thing this all happened at the busiest time of the year for me. (insert very angry face emoji here…lol)
Thankfully I have some of my energy back and I’m able to function a lot better, but I’ll warn you. I can still barf at a moments notice if a stinky smell hits me at the wrong time. So just don’t leave fish tacos in my car and we should be great.
I’m not gonna lie though… being sick, exhausted, overworked, and emotional has all been such a fun unique experience. That may sound weird, but it’s so fun because I know it’s all caused from growing a human! Like I almost consider it an honor to have the most sensitive sense of smell right now.
“How are you emotionally?”
Some days are harder than others but over all I am glad to be where I am. I feel blessed to have my family by my side, and I’m so honored knowing Mini will be loved by so many people.
“Any weird Cravings?”
Hot sauce and mustard on anything!!
“Ummmm This wasn’t on your bucket list!!”
Hhahaha correct. But don’t worry I’m still working on finishing the rest of the bucket list before my 30th birthday!!
“Are you excited?”
I can’t express how excited I am for what’s ahead. Just looking at the ultrasound photos get me dreaming about what Mini will be like and what kind of personality will he/she have! Am I scared?? Terrified. But, ultimately I am excited, along with my friends an family , that I am bringing new life into this world. Im excited that my baby will get to experience so much love from everyone in his/her life and I’m excited that I made the right decision for me. So please…. Join me in the excitement!!
“What if I’m not excited?”
That’s totally okay!!! but I encourage you to go talk to my friend Katherine. She’ll have a few words for you.
If you have any other questions please feel free to talk to me!!
Lauren & Mini