That one time a guy lied to me.
Bahahaha one time?!? Hahaha yeah right. Now I don’t want anyone to think I’m man hating with this post because honestly that’s not my intention.
Also, I’m sure a lot of you ladies have had men lie to you and it’s hurtful and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Honestly it probably sucked being lied to and I hope you became a stronger woman through it all, but this story is just a funny story with a few lessons. So don’t feel bad for me at all. Just be entertained.
Why is it so hard for me to believe anything a guy ever says the older I get? Like I almost never ever believe a guy when they talk to me unless they’re gay, my dad, or my brother.
Oh you were a pro golfer until you shattered your shoulder? Suuuure.
You were only one semester away from being a dr and now you work at pep boys? Wow tell me more.
Oh you’re not married, you just wear a ring on that finger so you don’t get hit on at bars? You’re so noble.
Seriously I’ve heard a lot of good ones when talking to guys. But my favorite all time lie has to be from a guy I met 3 years ago at seacrets in Ocmd.
Now most of you are probably judging me right now, “Lauren, why would you ever believe what a guy has to say at SEACRETS?!? Only guys who want to talk to girls for the night go there and they aren’t planning on talking to you ever again. Were you born yesterday?!?!”
Judge away…. I should have known better. But I was young and naive then.
It all started after a few drinks when I saw a group of about 11 guys walk onto the dance floor wearing matching top gun shirts. Goodness gracious great balls of fire!! I definitely was requesting permission for a fly by!
Now I’m going to stop the story right here to give you a little background information.
Most kids when growing up watch movies like Cinderella, and the little mermaid. Not us Fisher kids. We watched something a little more unconventional. Our favorites were top gun and pretty woman.
And before you judge my mom for letting us watch very adult movies, let me tell you I had no idea what a hooker was and I definitely didn’t see any sex scenes in either movie ever. My mom or grandma would always fast forward through sex scenes. I actually remember watching the movie by myself for the first time the whole way through. I was in college and Had to ask what those little candy disks were… They’re condoms… Not candy. I was so innocent. Lol
Now back to the story. Since top gun is probably the best movie ever and the fact that a group of very attractive guys were wearing MATCHING top gun shirts right in front of me it made for the perfect combination for me to go and talk to them. They even had the call signs on the back of each shirt. Ice man, cougar, ghostrider, wolfman, viper, Merlin, Hollywood…. You get my point. They really went all out. Which I respected.
So naturally I go to the tallest cutest guy of the group and ask if they’re here for a bachelor party. And the extraordinarily hot guy says “why yes we are. It’s my twin brothers bachelor party. He gets married in two weeks”
I took on the role of “maverick” and my sister Aftan played my wing woman “cougar” and I started dancing and chatting with Ghostrider while aftan chatted wedding details the soon to be groom. She really was the best wing woman a girl could ask for.
Now I won’t bore you with the rest of the details because this blog isn’t about relationships it’s about a fantastic lie. So I’ll cut to the chase.
While I was down visiting him we went to a fair and ate some amazing fattening food. We also watched an amateur wrestling match and while we were sitting on the bleachers cheering on fake body slams he leans over, while, holding my hand as says. “Lauren, I have something to confess…..”
“The night I met you we weren’t out for a bachelor party. My brother is already married and has been for 18 months. We just go to the beach every year at the same time and make matching shirts each time pretending to be on a bachelor party”
Completely thrown off I asked him why. And this was his response…
“Well to get girls, and I mean it works… it worked on you!”
I had been duped.
I was speechless. Not only did he lie when I first met him , but he kept the lie going for 4 months!! On his brothers fake wedding day he sent me photos of him in his tux and everything. this guy was so dedicated to keep this lie going that he sent me year old photos to prove that his brother was getting married that day!!! That’s dedication.
I should have taken that lie as a sign of things to come, but tall handsome men have a way of making me think irrationally so even after that huge intense long running lie I still continued to pursue things. Huge mistake. Anyway.
So what did I learn from this?
Well I learned that
If a guy has a Facebook, but doesn’t accept your friend request because “we talk every day. Why do we need to be Facebook friends?”
And don’t look back. He’s hiding something from you or hiding YOU from someone else.
I also learned all guys are going to lie at some point. I’m not saying it should happen, but let’s be honest….. We all lie sometimes. We’re only human. But, if the lie is a very in depth lie, you may want to consider evaluating that relationship to see if it’s worth investing more time into. Chances are it’s not worth your time.
And finally I learned matching clever t-shirts are a really great way to attract the opposite sex at bars. It worked on me and it worked on other girls too. It really is a good way to get attention!!
So Ladies. Let’s all get mighty ducks shirts made (I call Averman) and wear them to the bar some night to get guys to talk to us. Guys will love it!!
We just won’t lie if they ask us why we’re wearing the shirts. We’ll just lie about our ages. 😉 Over and OUT, Lauren PS. Ghostrider wasn’t really the devil, I just used photoshop to add horns…lol